Intro - Did I Lose Something?
[Nita] This whole community right here, Seth, was such a mixture of culture and the era that we were living in, which was the sixties. Right? So all of my friends that I grew up with went to elementary school and junior high and high school live right here. I mean, really. And we had this, this, um, comradery…
[Seth] Yeah.
[Nita] …if you will. You know when I come here I'm like, I'm at home. I felt like, you know, I don't care what street I was on, I knew somebody on that block, or somebody knew one of my siblings or…
[Seth] Yeah. It was like it was tight.
[Nita] Do you know what that feeling is?
[Seth] A little.
[Nita] Yeah, just that close, that closeness.
[Seth] Mm-hmm.
[Nita] That builds, talking about spirituality. All of that helps you develop your spirituality. That sense of safeness, that sense of belonging, that sense of knowing that you cool. You know what I'm saying? That you good.
That whatever happens to you, you could be on the street somebody gonna look and say, “Oh, that's Nita, that's Victor and Keith's little's sister. Or that's Arna's little sister. That's Vermell and Walter’s baby. You know, she lived across the street from the Dysons. That kind of, yeah.
[Seth] It's like your family was extended.
[Nita] It was. It wasn’t “like.” It was.
[Seth] It was extended.
[Nita] It was extended.
[Seth] People cared for you like family does.
[Nita] People cared for you.
[Seth] Hmm. Yeah.
[Nita] I don't get that anymore. I don't feel that anymore. That's why I say, that's where my spirituality comes into question.
[Seth] You're wondering where that went?
[Nita] Where is that?
[Seth] Where is it?
[Nita] Was that real? It had to be real. I experienced it. I am of what it was. Right? Of what I felt. Of what I received. That is me. But where did it go? Why am I? Okay, maybe I'm looking for, uh, spirituality in all the wrong places. Am I? I'm not feeling moved.
[Seth] Hmm. So you lost something. I don't know, is that a word that you would use?
[Nita] That's, see, Seth, you always want to go there. That is a word that I would not have chosen to use, probably because that's a good word. Did I lose something? Did I lose something? h
I’m Seth Dickson and this is Soul Search. In episode one of the podcast, we took a walk with Kirk Davis through his neighborhood in San Francisco. It was a spiritual walk where the past, present and future converged. His walk inspired others to walk too, to tell stories about their home. In this bonus episode, we take a walk with Nita Hines in a neighborhood not too far from where Kirk lives. Like his, it’s a place that’s changed for sure, but where sweet memories still linger. This is her story.
Act 1 - The Hood
[Nita] I love this. I love seeing kids play outside. Sometimes I…
[Seth] Why is that?
[Nita] Because it just reminds me of that energy of the village. Okay, so this is my hood right here.
[Seth] Yeah. Tell me about this. Tell me about this place.
[Nita] This is my hood right here.
[Seth] Where are we?
[Nita] This is Lakeview, California. Officially known on, I guess any city map you'd look at as, um, Ingleside. This is the OMI community. As a matter of fact, this building right here used to house the OMI community group that they had.
[Seth] OMI stands for what?
[Nita] Oceanview. Merced Heights. Ingleside. All of this is just OMI.
[Seth] OMI.
[Nita] OMI. And this was the community center right here.
[Seth] This is where you were born and raised?
[Nita] This is where I was born and raised. My parents when they married, they, uh, bought a house here. Because in the fifties, um, this was one of the areas that was developed and made available. Low income…
[Seth] For low income.
[Nita] Yes. Home ownership and my parents bought out here. So they moved here in, I think ‘54 and, they left… Let's walk down this way.
[Seth] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[Nita] Left when they divorced in ‘81and then my father died of a massive heart attack in ‘82. Which I've always felt like my dad died of a broken heart. Uh, yeah, I had the best dad in the world, too. Yeah. He was so, he was so cool. He was just a good dude. Just a good, solid, hardworking… He was a dad's dad.
[Seth] Mm-hmm.
[Nita] You know, he was the dad that you would want to aspire other men to be.
[Seth] Okay. Yeah.
[Nita] You know, he was, um. He gave us just enough love and nurturing that he knew to give us. Right?
[Seth] Yeah.
[Nita] But he worked hard and he made sure we had a roof of our… We never went without a meal. We never worried about the rent being paid. Was always food in the refrigerator. But my dad worked hard.
[Seth] What did he do?
[Nita] He was a muni driver. Matter of fact, he was, he started in 1945. No, ‘47. So him and my mom had been married just a few years. So he was like part of the first regime of African American men being hired on Muni. Cuz you know, they couldn't do that.
[Seth] Right.
[Nita] Yeah. Right? San Francisco was progressive, but still very, very segregated in terms of, you know…
[Seth] Where people lived.
[Nita] Well…
[Seth] What people could do.
[Nita] That's right.
[Seth] What people could do.
[Nita] We’ll give you a little opportunity. But hold on. We…
[Seth] Not everything.
[Nita] Not everything. We ain't gonna just let you run wild and start running things. What?
[Musical interlude]
[Nita] So lemme tell you about that Muni family.
[Seth] Yeah.
[Nita] So, you know, by the sixties muni had really relaxed its hiring practices in terms of making it more available for African Americans. A lot of my friends that I grew up with dads drove the bus. Mr. Thomas, here. My father. Somebody else too. I can't remember. I'm just not, it's not coming to me. Oh, Mr. Calloway around the corner.
So doing something on the bus, like getting outta line on the bus. Look here. If you on the bus, cuz you know we go to the back of the bus, that's what, we smoking cigarettes and carrying on. Right? And if the bus driver's driving and he do one of these and look up at that mirror at you.
[Seth] You’re in trouble.
[Nita] You're dead.
[Laughter]
[Seth] You’re dead
[Nita] You're toast. No, you're toast. When you get home...
[Seth] What would they do? Oh!
[Nita] You toast…
[Seth] Because everyone, ah!
[Nita] Because he done identified you.
[Seth] Okay.
[Nita] Or somebody back there on the back of that bus, which gives everybody…
[Seth] Your parents are gonna know.
[Nita] But before you get home dude!
[Musical interlude]
[Nita] This was my elementary school.
[Seth] This building here?
[Nita] It was a tall building. It was, uh, two floors. Two or three. Two floors. Um, yeah. Um…
[Seth] What was it’s name?
[Nita] Farragut Elementary. And guess what's really, really, really weird? Not weird, but a blessing. I'm still in contact with my second grade teacher, Mrs. McCauley Torrance. She's remarried and her name is Torrance and her husband is a minister in the Presbyterian faith. Again, this is the community that was created for our families to be able to afford to buy here.
[Seth] Mm-hmm.
[Nita] And then we had, you know, others like Latino, Hispanic, Native Americans, Filipinos, Vietnamese. You know, this is during the war, remember?
[Seth] Yeah. Wow.
[Nita] So I can remember friends coming, like, um, Sophia Santos, I'll never forget. She, uh, came to our school like in the second grade, um, there from the Philippines. But family’s being affected by the war, I'm sure. And migrated here. And, um, she couldn't speak English. At all. Like maybe a few words. Just enough to get by. And she learned to speak English being with us. We taught her to speak.
[Seth] You taught her.
[Nita] No. Really.
[Seth] Yeah, I believe it.
[Nita] Because her parents didn't speak it either.
[Seth] Right.
[Nita] Sophia Santos. I’ll never…
[Seth] Sophia Santos.
[Nita] Yeah.
[Musical interlude]
[Seth] Right now we're walking and there's nobody outside. It's kind of like everyone's inside…
[Nita] That’s another…
[Seth] How was it? How was it like…
[Nita] No, not like that. Come on. We were outside all the time. I lived to go outside.
[Seth] Yeah.
[Nita] Yes!
[Seth] Hmm.
[Nita] Yes. You know you gotta…
[Seth] It’s kinda quiet right now.
[Nita] No. Okay. So, you know, but that's the generation we live in because kids are inside on their little handheld devices. We had to entertain ourselves. We had to be creative, hence coasters and, and, um, you know, contraptions we would make to move. You know, that we could ride on.
[Seth] Yeah.
[Nita] Or, um, there's this, uh, dead end at the end of the next street, up at that top, top of that hill. I don't know if you wanna challenge that hill.
[Seth] Well if you’re game, I’m game.
[Nita] But, okay. Because the street has a very much, um, a very significant meaning to what we call Lakeview.
[Seth] Oh, let's do it then. Let's do it.
[Nita] But, uh, okay. My friend Betty Jean Jackson.
[Seth] Right here.
[Nita] She lived, I think her family still owns the house. And my friend Quetta Jones lived in that house, or this house here one of the two.
[Seth] Wow.
[Nita] Um, yeah. Yeah. This is…
[Seth] You're smiling.
[Nita] No, really. Because…
[Seth] You’re smiling.
[Nita] Because it was, it was good.
[Seth] It was good.
[Nita] It was good. I had a good childhood.
[Musical interlude]
[Nita] …I like what they did with the porch. Hi.
[Seth] Hi. Hello.
[Nita] So when my parents moved here in the fifties.
[Seth] Mm-hmm.
[Nita] That house, I had a friend that lived here too. I can't remember who it was. Oh, and my friend ST Scott lives up here. I think his parents still own the home. Um, Ronald Russell lived over across the street. Uh, this is my hood.
[Seth] This is.
[Nita] No, really.
[Seth] I can tell.
[Nita] Um, so okay, so when I was a kid, these homes probably sold I'm gonna say 35 to 50.
[Seth] Okay.
[Nita] I'll say there. That one right there. I bet you it sold for at least seven, if not seven and a half, eight.
[Seth] Uhhuh.
[Nita] Because somebody took it, refurbished it, and flipped it. Yeah. It's disgusting. You know, this community was developed so that the underserved of the, of the city, those people who were just working hard, trying to get ahead, wanting to have a piece of the pie, had the opportunity to. Nowadays that's, it's all about, you know, who got the biggest dollar?
[Seth] Who’s got the biggest dollar.
[Nita] Um, so I moved to the Bayview when I was 21.
[Seth] 21.
[Nita] Yeah.
[Seth] So 21 years here. First 21.
[Nita] First 21 years here. So I'm gonna say it must have been like ‘86, ‘87.
[Seth] Okay.
[Nita] I drove out here one day, I forget where or who I was coming to see. By that time, my parents no longer lived here, and when I came down Ocean Avenue and I was like, “Go on up and see what's, you know, what the hood, you know, kinda ride through the neighborhood.” And I came up Capitol and I got to that corner of Capitol and Holloway.
[Seth] Mm-hmm.
[Nita] And there was a gaping hole where my elementary school used to sit. I was like… [pausing].
[Seth] What'd it feel like?
[Nita] Oh, like someone had just sucker punched me in my chest! Like how dare you? You tore that building down and took all my memories? All my childhood memories, just gone? How dare you? Yeah.
[Seth] That hurt.
[Nita] Oh, I had to sit there for a minute.
[Seth] Did you?
[Nita] And get myself together.
[Seth] Wow.
[Nita] I was angry. Like, like, like I'm the ambassador of the neighborhood. “Ain't nobody told me they was tearing it down.” [Laughing].
[Seth] Well, in a way it was your neighborhood.
[Nita] It's my home.
[Seth] I mean you grew up there.
[Nita] It's my home.
[Seth] You had family. It's your home.
[Nita] This is my home. These blocks.
[Seth] Yeah.
[Nita] These streets that I walked up and down developing friendships with people. You know, learning who I was. You know, um, yeah.
Act 2 - The Church
[Nita] You know, the church is such a nucleus to, definitely the African American community. I mean, I don't have to tell you that. And when my parents and grandparents settled here, you know, first thing you go do, you find you apartment, you get you a job and you join church somewhere. You establish a church home. Those are the three fundamentals, right?
So my parents were founding members of our church. My parents and grandparents literally we're founding members. Um, my family's legacy goes back to the first pastor of Providence. That was a safe place. You know, I knew when I walked into our church that I was going to feel instant love. There was no doubt about that, and I don't feel that anymore.
[Seth] Mm-hmm.
[Nita] And it's not just because the people that I grew up with and, you know and the ancestors that raised me, aren't there anymore. Because their spirits is still there. That don’t just go away, right? But I just don't feel drawn. There is nothing about the, the, the energy that's in there that makes want to come there.
[Seth] What changed?
[Nita] You know. Okay. Funny you would say that. Because, um, I’ve really been questioning myself about this. Like, “So Nita, is it them or is it you?” And, and I'm sure it has something, at least a little… Well, mostly to do with me, but, um… I’m, I just… I have a… Ooh, wanna walk in the sun?
[Seth] Yes.
[Nita] Um. It, it has, uh… It's kind of made me question my faith.
[Seth] Hmmm. Hmmm.
[Nita] Okay. So. Not just question my faith, but really ask myself, you know, “What is my faith? What is it that I have faith in?”
[Seth] Mm-hmm.
[Nita] Right?
[Seth] Yeah.
[Nita] Um, what have I actually been looking for in faithfulness and spirituality? Has it been real? Has it been what it's supposed to be? Do you know what I'm saying?
[Seth] I hear you. Yeah.
[Nita] You have these thoughts. Is, you know, is God the God that you were raised to believe is God?
[Seth] Mm-hmm.
[Nita] Or now that you have lived, and I'm a lady of a particular age. Seen a few mango seasons. I've lived long enough to question that sometimes. And then I feel like, “Nita, what are you doing?” What? Because you know the spirit of the ancestors are like, “No child, that is not right for you to question.” But I mean, I don't know. It's like, what is the spirit of God if you don't question and seek who He is. And sometimes I get, sometimes I get crossed up in that.
[Seth] Okay. Hmmm.
[Nita] Um, yeah. Kind of went kind of deep on you on that one, huh Seth?
[Seth] No, tell me more about it. Tell me more about it.
[Nita] Um, and just even having, uh, those thoughts. And, you know, um, I wouldn't dare engage in the conversation because the guilt that I be…
[Seth] Guilty about questioning?
[Nita] Yes!
[Seth] Mm-hmm. Guilty about… You don't feel free to question?
[Nita] Yes! I mean, in my mind I do. But to say it.
[Seth] Yeah.
[Nita] And that's going deep. That's like going into the depths of your soul and get down there and be like, “Ooh, this is what this looks like.”
[Seth] Right.
Act 3 - The Home
[Nita] The thing was when you be out, this was back, um, seventies.
[Seth] Mm-hmm.
[Nita] Yeah. So 17, 18, 19. I was still living with my parents. And, uh, so what you would do is you'd catch the cab. And tell the cab, you know, “Park right here. I'm gonna go in the house and get the money from my parents.”
[Seth] Yeah.
[Nita] So he parked right there and it looked like you are going into the walkway until you come this way. And by that time it's too late cuz he can't drive up here.
[Seth] So see you later.
[Nita] By the time he get down the hill, come up, you in the house. [Laughing]
[Seth] I guess he’d never pick you up again, though.
[Nita] I know. That was terrible. That was terrible.
[Seth] The things kids do.
[Nita] The things kids do. Yeah. Made out with boys right here. This little cut.
[Seth] So cozy.
[Nita] Ooh. Ooh.
[Seth] Look out. Look out.
[Nita] Um, yeah. Um, Pooky and them lived here. The Sallys lived there. Tony and Sabrina lived there. The Smiths lived there. The Owens lived over there. Um, the Carols lived there. The Jewits, they were an older white couple, lived there on the corner in that grey and white house.
Um, oh, what was that lady? She was a single lady, had no children, so she was always hiring my brother and the other boys and the kids to mow her lawn and cut her hedges and do little stuff around the house. Oh, what was her name? Miss Mary.
[Seth] Miss Mary.
[Nita] Miss Mary. Uhhuh. Miss Mary was something else too.
[Seth] Yeah?
[Nita] Single lady, though. Holding it down on her own.
[Seth] Hmm.
[Nita] My friend Malcolm, his sister. Um, okay Nita. Come on, come on. Rhonda. Brother Joey. And then they had older siblings too. But their mother was a single parent that held it down. Yeah, she was a, she was a nurse. Um, she worked, I believe, at one of the city facilities. And then I remember she was a nurse at the, um, San Bruno County Jail.
[Seth] Mmm.
[Nita] So everybody, she would come home telling us everybody who was there.
[Seth] Everyone who was in?
[Nita] Sometimes it would be one of her kids.
[Seth] Oh man.
[Nita] Her son Malcolm, definitely. Rest in peace.
[Musical interlude]
[Nita] I was a bit of a tomboy.
[Seth] Were you?
[Nita] Most of my friends were boys because most kids my, that were my age, or maybe it was me, were mostly boys. I just made friends with boys cuz I did boy stuff, you know?
[Seth] Mm-hmm.
[Nita] I liked playing kickball and stickball and climbing fences. Anyway, so, um. Me and Kim Dyson, Broderick Tops, Charles Jr., we thought it was a very good idea to play a trick on the Lomax. See, we would only do this to the Lomax because they didn't have any young kids.
[Seth] Oh, okay.
[Nita] They were an older couple, um, and they didn't have kids at all. Mrs. Lomax was a tyrant though. She…
[Seth] She was tough.
[Nita] Oh yeah. She was tough. And Mr. Lomax very passive. Anyway, um (laughing). And she would get, like, on one of her binges when she would be on full.
[Seth] Mm-hmm.
[Nita] Inebriated, under the influence of alcohol.
[Seth] Yeah.
[Nita] And she would just rip into him.
[Seth] Yeah.
[Nita] So we felt like she had a good, a good one…
[Seth] She had it coming?
[Nita] She had something coming to her. So this the Ferrell's house. So they had a dog named Brutus. Brutus was the neighborhood dog. Everybody fed and took care of Brutus. We fed and took better care of him than his actual owners, and they would attested that too. Um, we gave him all our food scraps and everything, and believe me, nobody came up here messing with us because Brutus roamed, he's roamed the street. He, this was his block. He didn't go around the corner messing with nobody or that way or, but he stayed right here. And if you came on this block doing anything, you were gonna have to deal with Brutus. So he was our dog. Yeah.
But unfortunately, he was very comfortable with where he went and would release himself. So he decided for some reason to go into Ms. Lomax vestibule there. It's gated now. This was before it was gated and release himself (laughing). And we were like, “Oh my God, Brutus pooped on Mrs. Lomax porch. Oh my God.”
We didn't think that was enough. So we got firecrackers and stuck it in there. True story. And set 'em on fire.
[Seth] No.
[Nita] That's evil.
[Seth] That's rough.
[Nita] Oh, believe me.
[Seth] That's rough.
[Nita] We paid for it (laughing).
[Seth] I mean, they're gonna know who did it.
[Nita] They absolutely knew who did it.
[Seth] It's not a mystery.
[Nita] (laughing)
[Seth] All over the place.
[Nita] We all running to our house.
[Seth] I hope you guys clean it up. I'm sure you did.
[Nita] Baby, as soon as Mrs. Lomax got home, she was fussing and cussing. And every parent, Mrs. Latham sat right there in their window in that chair. So she definitely heard her cussing and fussing, “These kids!” So Mrs. Latham heard it. So now first thing she do, “Charles Jr!” Then somebody called my mama. My mama come, I’m in the house watching TV, like. She's like, “Get your ass up and go over there and clean Mrs. uh, Mrs. Lomax porch.”
[Seth] That's a good one. That's a good one right there. Poor Mrs. Lomax. Oh, maybe not.
[Musical interlude]
[Nita] Okay, so this was the house I grew up in. 114 Shield Street.
[Seth] Oh this is it?
[Nita] Mm-hmm.
[Seth] This is your house.
[Nita] 114 Shield Street.
[Seth] Wow.
[Nita] Um. So, okay. I gotta give you, see that little area right there? There's a story behind that right there. That was my room. That was my parents' room. My brothers and them slept downstairs.
[Seth] Wow.
[Nita] Uh-huh. The kitchen in the living room and is in the back. And the bathroom's in the middle and there's a, um, skylight in the bathroom. Wow. They changed this all the way around. Okay. This is. Okay. So you see this little area right here?
[Seth] Mm-hmm.
[Nita] Mr. Sanders decided to do, he was very, um, creative and industrious. So he liked doing landscapes. He built their patio in the back, which was another problem because he didn't put the proper cement foundation under it, and we had rats running through the… (laughing). That's another story. Anyway, they weren't speaking because of this little piece of real estate right here that he had cut into. He went beyond his line.
[Seth] Oh, I see.
[Nita] And my mama let him have it! My dad would've probably let him slide with it. My mama was like, mmm-mmm. She went to, they went to the hardware store and bought these little wooden slats and…
[Seth] No, she did. Huh?
[Nita] Okay. So this, it, it, it really got, and Mr. Sanders, you know, he was, Mr. Sanders, you know. And my mother, my mother was definitely the dominating force in our household.
[Seth] Okay.
[Nita] My dad was much more passive. They went at it and at it and at it. One day… Oh, the son of a bitch is two units. Shut up.
[Seth] Oh, look they split it.
[Nita] Okay, so I'm…
[Seth] There's no108, 106?
[Nita] Hell no! It was 108. Wasn’t no damn 106. 100, 108, 114. You see?
[Seth] Yep. I do.
[Nita] Okay. Or no? Yeah. There was no 106.
[Seth] There was no 106 either way.
[Nita] No. That's, that's they made an in-law, which means it's legal, I guess. Huh? If they got an address to it.
[Seth] I guess so.
[Nita] Any who.
[Seth] Yeah.
[Nita] The son, Robby. He was the baby. He died in a motorcycle accident back in the early nineties, I think. Anyway, he started a fire accidentally, playing with matches or something in the closet. And some clothes caught on fire. He tried to, he ran away from it.
[Seth] Yeah.
[Nita] Anyway, started a fire, burned the entire front of their house. All that bullshit about this here? Went out the window.
[Seth] That was it.
[Nita] Went out the window.
[Seth] Yeah.
[Nita] My mom and them was here giving them clothes.
[Seth] Mm-hmm.
[Nita] Feeding them.
[Seth] Mm-hmm.
[Nita] Housed them. Yeah.
[Seth] She was a neighbor.
[Nita] All this.
[Seth] All that.
[Nita] Didn't matter no more.
[Seth] Yeah.
[Nita] They were now without a home.
[Seth] Yeah.
[Nita] Mm-hmm. And then Mr. Sanders cleaned it up downstairs enough for them to move back in here. They slept downstairs on cots and makeshift beds, and while he basically did most of the, the work, the restoration.
[Seth] Wow.
[Nita] Mm-hmm. I remember that very, very. I remember I was in my room when I started smelling the smoke and heard one of the siblings run out.
[Seth] You were there?
[Nita] I was right here.
[Seth] Wow.
[Nita] I'll never forget that. Wow. Yeah, this is my childhood home.
[Seth] What's it look like to you now? What do you see?
[Nita] Um, I see, um, my dad out here watering the grass when he got home from work. Um, I see my mom in the kitchen cooking with a cigarette hanging out her mouth, talking on the telephone. Uh, I see myself sitting in the, uh, kitchen window while my mom is cooking, looking out the back window. Daydreaming.
[Seth] Yeah.
[Nita] Mm-hmm.
[Seth] So sweet memories.
[Nita] Oh yeah.
Credits
This bonus episode was written and produced by me, Seth Dickson. Thanks of course to Nita for taking me through her hood. And thanks to you for listening. We’ll be back with more episodes soon.